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Mer
2002-12-12
I feel sick. Not in a physical way. I feel sick more in a way like I am doing things wrong and I don't know how to fix them. I know I am hurting some people, but then again its not like its one sided. Still though, shouldn't I just take it and listen to them. Too an extent though I feel like I am being used. I am just being taken advantage of. Today she asked for a ride home and I told her no. I had things to do, which is what I told her, but I easily still could have given her a ride without having to go out of my way. So essentially I lied to her. The thing though is that she asks for a ride almost everyday. I don't want her to become dependent on me and keep using me. I told her no. Maybe I am just too nice and I think about others feelings before I think about my own. That can't be true though because for the past like 3 entries all I have done is go off about how awful things have beem. i don't know what to do or how to handle things or how to anything!I wanna just go somewhere and talk to you. I wanna talk about everything that is on my mind. I feel like I am growing farther apart rather than closer. I feel so distant from everything. How can I let things do this to me. I am trapped in a never ending spiral. Its sorta like I have gotten stuck in an awful awful groove and now I can't get out.
Something is missing from me....what is it? What is happening. What is going on? What is...? What is...? What, What, What??? AHHHHH!
Hasta Lasagna
Jason<><
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