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Life
I walked out tonight feeling alone, secluded, lonely, and sick. I looked up and saw the stars and felt even worse. I felt so small and insignificant. With every valley better be a hill. I don't feel good at all. I want to be there but can't. I want to talk but don't feel like it. All my energy has been wiped away. People are laughing and having fun and I am curled up...just there. Its grose. So much is happening around and I want to feel like a part of it, but I don't. Each day this weekend has been worse. One more day left in this three day weekend and I hope its better. I hope I can find the energy to be myself and get over this afliction. Its half physical half mental. I physically feel drained and I emotionally feel drained. Uhhh is it the sign? Is that whats draining me. Is it time that I deel with my own emotions instead of listening to others. Should maybe I think of myslef and concentrate on what I want? No, I am just being a self centered *@#$. What cures. What helps. Where do I go. What do I do. I refuse to crumble and I refuse to give in. I will not be demolished and I will not be overburdened. I refuse! Why must I always think of myself. Don't I realize there are others in the world much worse off then I? I should be thankful. Tomorrow is always there. I must look ahead and know that there is another day. Another day with a clean slate. I will get better. If John got better in his song then I will get better in my song. The beautiful one I compose myself every day. Life.
Jason<><
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