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A New Beginning
So Mountain TOP was good. Really good. I finally proved to myself that I could open up to another girl. I know in theory the plan is to go through college just being me and doing what I want to do, but in reality that was proving to be EXTREMELY difficult. At Mountain TOP I pulled it off though. I met a girl, Jennifer. She was cute and quite friendly. Rather shy too. Once we got to talking I realized she had some potential. So I figured I would give it a shot. I would actually go after this girl and attempt to date, or whatever you want to call it, someone for the first time since 10th grade.
It started out quite nice. And I was really proud of myself for coming out of my shell and opening up. As I got to know her and began hanging out with her more and more I began to realize how....not for me she was. On paper she was so awesome. Extremely friendly, strong christian, open minded, etc. But in reality there just wasn't something right. My feelings began fading, fast. In the end I left her with a smile, but the realization that things would never work.
Why am I telling you this? Why does this matter so much? Its becuase I proved so much to myself about relationships. I proved that I can date other people and not feel guilty or something stupid like that. I proved that this whole plan of going to college and just being myself and letting things happen is actually possible and will work. Most importantly you know what I gained? A new respect for Rachel. I think over time I may have become jaded. I had forgetten just how awesome she is. I am so lucky to have a person who listens and cares and understands as much as Rachel does. AND, I am so glad that we are able to go through life understanding each others needs and wants and be able to conform ourselves to those so as not to sufficate the other. Ok, so basically I think the two of us rock. Nuff said.
Jason<><
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