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Streakers should have something to show off
I have a complaint about the guys who streaked the Chemistry 115 final exam last semester. I don't have a problem with the act of streaking itself. I mean, it�s a good, funny stress reliever that just about everyone needs halfway into a chemistry test. It�s something to make you laugh. My concern is about the guys themselves. If you�re going to run around naked, shouldn�t you at least be well endowed? I was assigned to an aisle seat last semester for the exam, so I got more than my fair share of a view as this naked guy ran up my aisle screaming. As a female, I'm not sure just how much shrinkage affects that particular portion of the male anatomy, but I never thought that Elliott was that cold or that it would shrink that much. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you're going to show it off, make sure you actually have something to show off. Or at the very least, next time bring your friends who aren't affected by the temperature quite as much as you are.
Katie Hamilton
Freshman, Schools of Engineering
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Rally against anti-squirrel wave
I am flabbergasted at the Exponent's poor decision to print Andrew Lowe's incendiary and hateful squirrel slander (Letters, Tuesday). If possible, I'm sure squirrels would pursue all manners of libel and defamation litigation against Andrew "the pseudo-ninja vigilante and woman stalker" Lowe, but that is not an option. Squirrels are not granted the unalienable rights and fair trials that we take for granted in this love-it or leave-it country of ours. In fact, they are forced to exist as a second-class-species their entire lives. They scrape by on a living wage scavenging for nuts on our nut-bereft campus, endure prejudiced assaults on their good names and flee from the occasional drunken and overzealous student on the lam from Breakfast Club that just wants to pet him.
I for one will longer sit idle while such injustices continue.
For starters, we must realize the following: Squirrels are acute, capable and altruistic creatures. Given half the chance, they would undoubtedly master geometry, English and devise a squirrel Socratic method that would rival our own. However, we impose our righteous and discriminative concepts of religion and marriage to these cuddly friends of ours, refusing to recognize any of their squirrel-squirrel matrimonial ties. But it doesn't stop there. Our impetuous attacks also criticize their societal makeup, chiding everything from Sciuridae Politics to Squirrel Theology. We even have the gall to reprove their tabloidish revisions (or lack thereof) and squirrel-oriented sporting attendance and dedication.
In summation, I ask all of you to embrace your fellow he/she/squirrel, and rally against the coming anti-squirrel wave. If we remain steadfast enough, repudiating enough, resolute and loud enough, we may force out the squirrel nay-sayers with our pro-squirrel din.
Nathan Walker
Senior, School of Liberal Arts
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