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Help
2003-10-17
As much as I would love to say that I am my happy ol' self. I am not. I can't put my finger on what it is that is bringing me down, but it revolves around a sense of people not caring. College has completely cut me off from my usual sources of encouragment. It feels like now-a-days the only person I have is myself. There is no one to really lean on. Sure I can call people and chat, but that only goes so far. Besides, I hate calling people over and over. The way I see it, if they wanted to talk then they would have called. Aside from chatting to people on the phone I want to make friends here. Real friends. The kind you can trust and know will be there for you. All my relationships here so far seem really superficial.I don't know whats wrong with me. Maybe its that I have a bad case of homesickness. Or maybe I am yet to find any real friends here in college. Whatever the case may be, I hate being all quiet and non-outgoing. Everytime I smile it seems forced. Thats not the way it used to be. I want my old me to come back. Someone help. Someone let me know they care. And for the love of pete if anyone has any idea what is wrong with me, please help.
Jason<><
P.S. I can't be totally sad. Yesterday a 74 year old man in Wisconsin got both a perfect score in bowling and a hole in one in golf. w00t!
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